Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
