I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You ate ashes out of my bong
Oh god it's open bar.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
