She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
