Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
