"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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