I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
