hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
