I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
