Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
