I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I am one with the molecules
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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