marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
