i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
you never un-have a 4some
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
