bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I intend to get homeless drunk
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
