I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We just shotgunned beers for America
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
