i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize