At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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