if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
