It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
