Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
All the doctor said was why
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
