How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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