everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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