Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize