What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize