Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
