So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
