I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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