spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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