he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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