Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
