I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
