Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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