omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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