remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
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