Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize