Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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