My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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