idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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