we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize