Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
