chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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