Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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