i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
