I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
