I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
