I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize