Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
