It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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