dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
