He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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