i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
