i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just invented taco cereal.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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