i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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