I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
