This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We had to coat check the pizza.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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