I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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