Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
