I need help removing her.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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