R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
