Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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