Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
