Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
