I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
