sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize