so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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