Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
