why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
