Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
