Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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