the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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