some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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