You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
