He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
