what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
being pregnant is like rehab
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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