the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize