i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
