oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
