Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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