He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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