you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
