I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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