Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You ate ashes out of my bong
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
