We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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