Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
