I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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