Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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