I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
