porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
